“I am sick with wanting / And it's evil how it's got me / And everyday is worse than the one before / The more I have the more I think: I'm almost where I need to be / If only I could get a little more” - Avett Brothers “Ill With Want”
“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” – Matthew 6:24
I feel like I’ve been chasing a train. It’s moving faster than I can keep up with, but I believe it will help me get to where I think I want to be, or “know” I should be, but I stay stuck, always a few yards behind.
There are so many things written on my “to-do” list, including things I want to fix with our house, things that cost money. There are also things I want to do with my life, a bucket list of sorts, or better yet- a dream list, such as going to seminary, buying a bigger house, etc. But what I’ve been realizing lately, after reflecting on what I think is important in God’s mind, is that a lot of the things I think I want in order to give myself a “better life” are just superficial. They either are items that increase my perceived status, or would make me feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be materially, educationally, professionally, family-wise, etc.
We’ve been trying to clean out our house to make room for a child should we receive a placement in the near future. It’s amazing how much junk you can accumulate. We have tons of CDs we no longer listen to, DVDs we don’t watch, books we don’t read, empty boxes just sitting there, clothes not worn for months if not years, piles of paper taking up whole tubs, furniture we don’t even use, and on and on. Some of the things I’m coming across we paid money for and then we hardly ever used the item.
At some point we all have to decide when enough is enough. Do material goods really make us happier, or do they just leave us wanting more?
I want to live a simple life, a life of love and joy, dedicated to God, my family, and my friends. I honestly believe that is possible without spending every extra dollar I have on things that will just wind up sitting in a corner collecting dust. A bigger house does not provide more love. And more “stuff” does not provide more joy.
Relationships. That’s where absolute love and joy is found and they should cost you nothing but your time, which is already precious in God’s eyes. We are but a blip on a radar screen. Let’s make the most of the time we have here on earth before it’s all over. In the end, it’s not going to be the things we possessed that matter but the love we gave to others. Memories of relationships continue on after people have passed away through stories, photos, and the influence our love had on others. “Things” are just a mess we left behind for others to clean up.
What "stuff" in your life is just weighing you down and you would like to free yourself from?