An Epilogue

Today I did something I never thought I would do… I posted our pregnancy announcement on Facebook. 

For years, I cringed anytime I saw a pregnancy announcement. Anytime I saw a sonogram. Anytime I saw a baby bump. Anytime a woman was ecstatic with joy for getting pregnant after trying for less than a year without any intervention. I was jealous, bitter, angry and just plain annoyed. 

So I want to take this opportunity to speak to all the women and men who have gone through the same struggles as Rich and I have.

Fertility treatments, constant disappointment and heartache month to month, miscarriage... all which prolong a yearning for something we felt we were never allowed to experience, yet people around us seemed to be blessed with in droves... 

Walking in the rain.jpg

I understand completely how hard it is to see these posts on social media. I understand the visceral reaction it can cause in someone going through the pain of infertility. I honestly hope my posts didn't hurt anyone, but if they did, I'm sorry. I know exactly what you're going through. For 10 years, I've longed and waited, cried and prayed. Experienced hope followed by heartbreak. I wouldn't wish the pain I've experienced on anyone.

I can't promise that you will ever have children. But I can promise that if you do get pregnant or adopt, that you deserve every bit of joy and happiness that all those others parents have experienced (even if their happiness was normally to our chagrin). You deserve to share your great news! You deserve to have people say congratulations! You deserve to experience that feeling of being part of a miracle that’s bigger than yourself! Don’t let the suffering you’ve gone through keep you from allowing yourself to experience joy once you’ve reached your goal of becoming a mother or father, should that time come.

That is why I posted our announcement on Facebook. We’ve tried to start a family for so long; we’ve made our journey public. People know what we’ve been through. It just made sense to bring everyone into the fold once we reached this point of finally making it into our second trimester. So far everything with our pregnancy is going as it should, so we deserve to enjoy it and share it with our loved ones. 

Lastly, I hope the fact that our little miracle has made it 13 weeks along already gives others who are struggling with infertility some hope. Nothing is definite, or guaranteed. I absolutely know that and would never argue otherwise. I am constantly praying for the safety and health of this little baby inside of me. But I want to suggest you never know what kind of plan God has in the works behind closed doors and what blessings have yet to be seen. 

So all that I can suggest is to keep an open mind…

Miracles are still possible... 

Never give up hope...

If you're interested in reading more about our journey towards parenthood, from dealing with infertility to pursuing adoption to announcing our pregnancy, check out some of the following posts:

Have you experienced pregnancy after infertility or pregnancy loss? How did you deal with announcing your pregnancy? Do you still react negatively to pregnancy and child related posts on social media?