Escaping the Wilderness

A few months ago I wrote a blog but I didn’t publish it. Then about a month later I revised it and added to it but still didn’t publish it. I couldn’t bring myself to putting my heart out there for all to read. But yesterday, I had four people touch my large pregnant belly, and one person asked if me I ever thought I would be in this place… in my third trimester… less than three months away from giving birth to my baby… after years of trying to build our family.

That’s a story I will tell one day, but it has been a slow process to work through my experiences and emotions. Also it’s been a roller coaster the past 5-10 years, and the final turn is still up on the horizon. The ending is still not written yet, but with God’s will soon enough… soon enough…   

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An Epilogue

Today I did something I never thought I would do… I posted our pregnancy announcement on Facebook. 

For years, I cringed anytime I saw a pregnancy announcement. Anytime I saw a sonogram. Anytime I saw a baby bump. Anytime a woman was ecstatic with joy for getting pregnant after trying for less than a year without any intervention. I was jealous, bitter, angry and just plain annoyed. 

So I want to take this opportunity to speak to all the women and men who have gone through the same struggles as Rich and I have.

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We Believe in Miracles

It’s been a long while since I've written about our journey towards parenthood. 

The last update on our adoption fundraising site was over two months ago. We had just finished our final home study visit. There wasn’t much to do after that point but wait. Now that spring is here there have been some developments in our story we’d like to share.

We have some good news… and bad news… and good news… so let’s just dive right in. 

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August 1

A poem detailing the anniversary of the loss of my one and only pregnancy... I've come a long way in the past 12 months, but the road to parenthood is not over for my husband and I. We're just beginning to travel by way a new fork in the road and hope continues to guide us.

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The Hope of Summer

I love summer more than I usually let on.  I used to complain about the heat and the bees, but each summer that passes I realize it’s actually a time for renewal. This time of year for Rich and I has become a combination of busyness and rest. Friends and family, vacation and trips, and this year is no different!

But in the past few years, summer has also coincided with pinnacle moments in our family-building journey. 

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Mother's Day for the Rest of Us

   Much love and big hugs    to all the mothers who have lost children... to all the woman who never had a chance to be mothers despite the constant yearning in their hearts and years of trying... to all the people who have lost their mothers... to all the people who never had a chance to know their mothers... I know how hard today will be for some of you... you are NOT forgotten!

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Lend Me Your Voice this Mother's Day

This Mother's Day I want to put together a post which honors those women who have suffered in their struggles to become mothers, who have lost their mothers, who have lost their children, and who have never known their mothers. 

For anyone who is like me and finds Mother's Day bittersweet or just bitter, and struggles to find joy on a day which is supposed to be the most joyful day of the year for so many women, I would like to give you a moment to voice your heart.  

Send me a private message through Facebook, Twitter, or use my blog contact page and include a thought, story, poem, or whatever you want to share. Let me know if you want to include your name or stay anonymous...

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